When we see a loved one grappling with pain, stress, or failure, our first instinct is often to offer advice. However, psychologists suggest that this is not the best approach. True help lies not in providing a solution, but in making the other person feel that they are not alone. Only when a person feels heard and understood are they in a position to make better decisions.
According to psychologists, someone going through a difficult time needs emotional safety above all else. Rather than rushing to give advice, it is far more effective to understand their emotions and listen without judgment. This builds trust and empowers the individual to find their own solutions.
Ellie Spots-de Lazzer, a psychotherapist based in Tennessee, notes that advice is effective only when the person feels truly heard. Therefore, simple statements like "This must be incredibly hard" or "I am here for you" often prove more impactful.
Sheryl Grosskoph, a marriage and family specialist in Los Angeles, believes that the urge to give advice quickly is often an attempt to soothe our own anxiety rather than to help the other person. Not every problem has an immediate solution; in such cases, helping the person accept uncertainty is more beneficial.
Ask questions; don't give orders : -
Mary McLaughlin, a clinical social worker in Virginia, points out that people are the best experts on their own lives. So, instead of saying "You should do this," asking questions like "What feels right to you?" or "What is your biggest concern?" helps them discover their own answers. This also helps preserve their self-confidence. Melissa Gluck, a psychologist in New York, suggests asking directly: "What kind of help do you need right now? Should I just listen, or would you like some suggestions?" This helps avoid the mistake of offering unsolicited advice.
Ask questions, or help with childcare or small tasks : -
Experts also note that brief silences during a conversation can be helpful. In psychology, this is known as 'co-regulation,' where a calm demeanor helps reduce the other person's stress. Conversely, displaying excessive restlessness can heighten their anxiety.
5 ways to provide effective emotional support : -
1. Listen first; offer advice later.
2. Validate the person's feelings; do not downplay them.
3. Understand their needs by asking, "What can I do?"
4. Instead of giving advice, ask open-ended questions that require more than just a 'yes' or 'no' answer.
5. Offer practical help when needed, such as providing meals, looking after children, or assisting with small chores.
Read more : -
.jpeg)
0 Comments